Hi! How are you? I am fine. Today, I am discussing another topic. The 18 best excuses to end a date. Unless you are bowled over with love or lust, there are always going to be those unfortunate dates where you feel the urgent need to do a sharp exit, stage left. But not all of us are blessed with the quick thinking required to summon up a plausible excuse to leave without causing offence, so in order to help you do the decent thing with tact and diplomacy (kind of), I have compiled a list of the best excuses to end a date the next time you find yourself lumbered with the date from Hell.
The 18 best excuses to end a date:-
- I have a 7AM breakfast meeting with a client and I haven’t prepared my presentation yet
- I’m flying to Tokyo tomorrow morning and I need to pack
- Sorry but our sun/star signs are a bad match
- My car is parked in a disabled bay and I really ought to move it
- You remind me too much of my ex and I’m suffering from post-traumatic flashbacks already
- My psychic told me to stay way from women/men with blonde/red/brown/black/grey/no hair
- My babysitter is on double time and I have to get home before this dates costs me my overdraft
- Under the terms of my curfew, I have to be home by X [insert as applicable]
- Our time is up—I take cash or credit card
- I think we met in a previous life and I recall that I didn’t like you much then either
- Before this date, I was confused about my sexuality—now I know for sure I am gay, so thanks!
- The starter has given me food poisoning and I really have to go home immediately before the projectile vomiting sets in
- I have to be home by X [insert as applicable] to help my wife/husband/life partner put the septuplets to bed
- I left a casserole in the oven and I think it’s probably cooked by now
- My violent ex has just been released from prison and I think I just spotted him/her, so I need to leave immediately…
- I think I’m allergic to your pheromones because you’re bringing me out in a rash, so I better go home and take a shower
- I have to go home and feed my snake/tarantula
- I must go now as it’s time to take my medication—if I leave it too long the voices come back
What do you do if you really don’t want the hassle of making a lame excuse to leave your date early?
If your date is so bad that you would rather stick a fork repeatedly into your arm than suffer another minute in their company, it is probably not worth the time and effort of making a rubbish excuse to spare their feelings. The best tactic in this instance is to go to the rest room and leave via a back entrance—just make sure you collect your purse and coat before you disappear into thin air. Alternatively, wait until your date has gone to the bar/toilet and do a runner out the front door.
However: please note that this method is not a very nice way to behave and should only be used in the most extenuating of circumstances, and certainly not if your date knows where you live!